A Backpack Filled With Hope
When I was young, there was nothing I loved more than picking out school supplies and getting my backpack ready for the first day of school. I loved the freshly sharpened pencils, crisp paper, and new white tennis shoes. On the first day of school, as I entered my classroom with all my new supplies, I felt like anything was possible.
Now, as a parent with two children starting school in the age of COVID, things are different. I don’t know what to expect. The positive outlook that I had as a kid has been replaced with anxiety and concern for what’s to come. Will my kids get sick? Will other kids get sick? Will we have to return to virtual learning? Will the political opinions that divide our country pervade our schools? Not to mention the fact that The Taliban just took over Afghanistan, Haiti was just leveled by another earthquake, and climate change threatens to undo us all. It’s enough to make even the most emotionally stable person want to crawl into a cave and stay there until it’s all over.
And yet, I continue to get out of bed each morning, put on my clothes, brush my teeth, and keep moving.
After all, we have never known what the future holds. Even when I was an elementary school student filling my backpack with supplies, there was no guarantee that things would go well. I believed things would go well because I had no reason to believe otherwise. My parents and teachers loved me, and I had everything I needed to be a successful student. Only now do I realize how privileged I was to grow up with such a positive outlook. Many children around the world have not been so lucky.
This fall, as my children lace up their new shoes and stuff their backpacks with pencils and markers, I am filling a backpack of my own. I’m packing it with the tools I’ve gained over the past year and half—the lessons I’ve learned that will enable me to keep moving, even when I want to quit.
First in the backpack: a growth mindset. I often talk about the difference between fixed and growth mindsets in my consulting work. Those with fixed mindsets believe that their abilities are “fixed” and cannot be improved. They avoid challenges and when they fail, they perceive the failure as “proof” that they weren’t good enough to succeed. In contrast, those with growth mindsets believe that it’s possible to learn and grow, even when challenges arise. Failure is seen as an opportunity for growth rather than a reason to quit. During these tough times, a growth mindset will enable me to meet challenges head on, believing that I have (or can develop) what it takes to conquer them.
Second: a focus on the present moment. We don’t know what the future holds, so why do we waste our energy worrying about it? I am a world-class worrier, so this is tough for me…but I’m finding that the more I practice living in the moment, the better I get at it. Rather than worrying about things that I can’t control, I’m trying to invest my energy in the people and places that are in front of me right now.
And last, but not least: HOPE. Not the stick-your-head-in-the-sand-and-pretend-everything-is-fine kind of hope, but the kind of hope that sees all the challenges and still believes that good things are possible. This year, I am choosing to look for beauty and goodness and kindness and I’m going to share it with my kids whenever I find it so that we can keep moving and growing together.